Philadelphia, Pennsylvania — The Process has taken another interesting turn this week, as former owner Barry “insert last name here” decided to sell ownership of the Philadelphia 76ers franchise to fully focus his resources on Sacramento.
That’s right Philly. Someone chose SACRAMENTO over you. Just sayin’.
In comes new owner Justin Stoudt, a fantasy basketball novice of five years looking to take his fantasy playing experience to the next level. The deal was reportedly for an internet high five and a promise to never tank on purpose again.
Justin brings with him plenty of fantasy experience. His most crowning moment was taking the 60-22 Phoenix Suns into the playoffs as the Western Conference #1 seed, and then getting swept by 37-45 Minnesota in the first round. Phoenix wasted no time giving him the boot after the embarrassing exit. The following season? Turning a rebuilding Philly team into the #6 seed in the Eastern Conference while earning a first round exit. Third times the charm? Maybe. He led a revamped Philadelphia squad into the playoffs as the Eastern Conference #3 seed, only to lose in the second round to the eventual champion Indiana Pacers.
This man knows mediocrity.
When asked what his plans were for roster construction, Justin laughed. “This team went 64-18 last season. Maybe a player or two has been traded, but I don’t see any reason to push the panic button and reset the roster. We spent years in this city yearning for a competitive team, and I’m going to do whatever I can to deliver that again this year. Plus, I’m only on page 2 of the current CBA. I still need to learn this stuff before I go willy nilly moving players around. Give me a break. I just go the job two hours ago.”
Philadelphia appears to be over the luxury tax, over the apron, and teetering on another rebuild. At least Justin knows this city can support a struggling franchise during some hellish years for the chance to finally reach the pinnacle of the Front Office league. But he will have some rather large shoes to fill.
Join or die; Phila Unite.